snoocher
Honolulu, HI – Hawaiians on Saturday were dealing with a stressful day after getting two alerts threatening their community. Local news station ABC7 Eyewitness News reports that, “NORAD did not see anything that indicated any sort of threat to Hawaii,” referring to the ballistic missile threat. Then another false alarm was raised as the Emergency Spam Supply Alert System was inadvertently triggered by a hapless employee that had just been hired and was not properly trained. Families were again needlessly frightened as tensions around the tropical islands had not settled from that morning and they now were fearing for their spam supplies
Ben Kahale a resident of Pearl City told us, “My wife was the first to get the alert Saturday afternoon. When she screamed from downstairs I thought maybe this was another mistake about the missile threat. Then she showed me the message and I started panicking. We were already exhausted from the 30 minutes of fear we had in the morning, but now we were fearing we would run out of masubi soon.” Experts in the masubi industry say the just in time logistics supply Hawaii with just four days of spam and if spam supplies were somehow cut off then the local economy would collapse. Hawaiian authorities are trying to reassure local residents that Spam shipments are still headed to Hawaii and there are no delays of the tasty salty Hawaiian staple that is the lifeblood of the 50th state.
