snoocher
Unless you have no access to TV or live under a rock, it’s safe to assume you’ve at least heard of Game of Thrones. If you’re anything like us here at Snoocher, you’re waiting very impatiently for the final season to begin on April 14th of this year. The seventh season left us with a HUGE cliffhanger. Winter is here. The battle between men and and the Army of the Dead is inevitable at this point. Jon Snow is now Aegon Targaryen and he’s (unkowingly) sleeping with his aunt, Lord Baelish is dead (finally), and Theon Greyjoy seems like he may finally start to grow a pair, figuratively speaking that is.
We spoke to an anonymous inside source who works directly on set, and while he was unwillingly (thankfully) to divulge any big spoilers, we did learn one thing: there will be a MASSIVE amount of sex. That’s right, you heard that correctly (shocking..). Stark’s, Lannister’s, Targaryen’s, Greyjoy’s and Tarly’s will all be involved, with some odd new relationships forming. Somehow we feel this seems a bit strange considering the circumstances at the end of season 7, but our inside source insisted it to be true.
What is the most surprising or funny new relationship that forms in season 8?
You’ll be surprised to find out that once Jon Snow learns of his true name, Aegon Targaryen, he cuts all ties with his aunt. Tyrion, being the little man-whore he is, swoops in for the kill and get’s all up in Daenerys. You see everything. You’ll be calling Tyrion “Lord Tripod” when the episode airs. Oh and another funny but very fitting one, Theon Greyjoy and Grey Worm rub mounds.
Can we expect to see Jon Snow with someone new?
Of course, Jon Snow get’s freaky with Sansa Stark, once Jon finds out they aren’t blood, he realizes that she’s pretty much the only hot piece of ass left to plow in the Seven Kingdoms.
What happens to Cersei and Jaime Lannister?
Well as you could probably tell, Jaime is starting to dislike Cersei because she’s an evil, vile, manipulative bitch. We’ve come to learn over the seasons that Jaime is actually not a bad man (kinda). The relationship that probably everyone saw coming finally comes to fruition in season 8. Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister finally go to pound town.
Wow, that is a lot of new flames coming out of the woodwork. Anything else you want to tell us?
As much as i’d love to keep going, I really want to leave something left to the imagination for the viewers. You’ll probably be crucified for posting these little spoilers anyway.
True, very true.
Well folks there you have it, in typical Game of Thrones fashion you can expect massive amounts of tits, ass, and cock in season 8, as well some almost unbelievable new relationships.
WINTER IS UPON US!
