snoocher
As you may have heard by now, Apple has announced their newest addition to the iPhone lineup: the iPhone X. The phone is available for preorder October 27, 2017 and comes loaded with a host of new features. Some of these include a 5.8” Super Retina display, 12 MP camera, facial recognition security, wireless charging, and a multitude of other features not made public yet. Snoocher.com spoke to an inside source to see what else consumers might expect out of the new model.
1. iTug
iTug is a new video mode specifically aimed towards video optimization. When enabled, iTug mode disables all incoming notifications when viewing a pornographic video, as well as sends an automatic response to text messages saying “Hey, give me like 10 minutes and I’ll get back to you.” It also diverts all processing power towards video optimization to prevent buffering and provide the highest quality video rendering.
2. Safari Screen Protection
Apple has done away with the Safari browser automatically opening the last thing you were looking at, if it was porn. For many, this is a welcome feature. Apple has taken great strides to protect the privacy of its users in the past, and this feature is designed to save it’s iPhone users any embarrassment in the future.
3. Auto Silence
With the new Auto Silence feature, all videos automatically start with the volume turned off. This is a great feature if you’re in a bathroom stall at work and just want to watch a pornographic video in peace.
4. iTug Memories
iTug Memories is a great new feature that creates a photo album of everything you view in iTug mode and displays it in an album in your phone, so you can take those great memories with you everywhere.
5. iPulsate
iPulsate is a change from that usual vibrate mode we are all familiar with. It allows you to set the vibrate mode to different modes and intensities. This mode was recommended by Apple’s female users, and Apple listened.
6. Apple Bottom
As a response to iPulsate, Apple is introducing a new attachment aimed towards male pleasure called the Apple Bottom. The device resembles a fleshlight in design, but has the appearance of an Apple. It also operates with an app called “Apple Jerk Pro” in which users can compete for “Achievements” such as “Most consecutive hours used” and “Stamina king.”
This is just a sneak peak at what the new iPhone X may or may not have to offer. Regardless, Snoocher.com is pretty excited to get their hands on the newest addition to the iPhone family, as well as the new Apple Bottom device!
