bonspeed
February 6, 2018. Cape Canaveral, Fl. – In another great achievement from Elon Musk, SpaceX has managed to send another large, powerful phallus into space. Nicknamed “Falcon Heavy,” the craft is the second most powerful space craft to be sent into space, the first being the Saturn V rocket used to send man to the moon. What makes the craft so powerful you ask? The main shaft is paired with two “Strap-Ons” (boosters), which gave the craft a total of 27 engines and 5,130,000 pounds of hard phallic thrust. The craft successfully slipped its way through the moist folds of earth’s atmosphere and into the deep, dark glory-hole that is space. Once the craft had made it’s way into space’s backdoor, it tossed it’s strap-ons aside and dropped it’s final, massive space load: a douchey Tesla and a bi-curious mannequin listening to “Starman” on repeat.
Watch the amazing footage from today’s launch below, as well as the live feed from bi-curious astronaut mannequin!
