snoocher
1. Use positive reinforcement when possible
Of course, we’ve all heard this many times before but it cannot be said enough. Give your child praise and attention whenever they do something well. This allows them to associate good behavior with a sense of love and attention. Most healthy children crave this sense of approval from their parents, so it is only natural to use it as a tool in raising them.
2. Offer incentives to reach certain goals
Sometimes if a child is having a difficult time staying focussed on a long term goal, they may benefit if you place an incentive to reach that goal. For instance, perhaps your child is struggling to see the purpose of behaving in school. In this scenario it may be hard to rely solely on positive reinforcement because the child is at school when the good behavior does occur, or they have developed a habit of constant misbehavior in class leaving rare opportunities for praise. Giving them a goal to reach such as a toy or trip to the museum in exchange for their good behavior may help get them on the right track. Just be sure not to cave to any other terms your child proposes, and only reward them if the entire goal is met.
3. Teach them to think smart, not hard
Most of us are familiar with the old saying, but how does that translate to children? Well, parents should encourage children to problem solve in creative ways to achieve their goals. For instance, if a child is having a difficult time cleaning their room, suggest they might break the task into smaller and more manageable chunks. Another example would be a child telling a small lie to the other parent in order to get something such as a toy. It may seem wrong, but these things are actually the foundation of the child’s problem skills, so it should not be discouraged. Manipulation of other people is a valuable skill that children should learn early on.
4. Physical Discipline has its place
Sometimes it is necessary to physically discipline your child, as hard as it may for some of us to accept. A parent must use ‘escalation of force’ when dealing with a misbehaving youngster. It’s important not to confuse escalation of force with using equal or lesser force. If a child raises their voice, you do not simply do the same. You answer their bad behavior by escalating the situation, such as yelling and hitting them with an open hand. Another example would be a child who has just spit at their parent. It is not enough to simply spit back, the situation must be escalated. A good response to this action would be to spit on the child as well as taking away their dinner for a few days or weeks. Hitting a child with an open hand is a perfectly acceptable way of disciplining your child if they are over the age of two years old. If they are younger than two years, a slight shake is acceptable as well.
5. Teach your child independence
Children are usually pretty attached at the hip to their parents. This is completely natural, but can sometimes lead to issues later in life. Steps to encourage independence must be started early in a child’s life in order to help instill it permanently. Some of the early steps that can be taken to promote this Independence is giving the child choices in their day to day lives. These choices can be minute, such as choosing which clothing they want to wear to school that day. More advanced stages include leaving your child unattended for long periods of time, or leaving them at home when you go out to run errands or hit the bar for a few hours. Another popular alternative is to tell your child you’re going to the store to get cigarettes, and then disappear for a few days.
6. Let your child know that they do not always come first
Children crave constant attention, and feeding into that attention every time they demand it can create some behavioral issues down the road. If you are having an important conversation with someone else and your child tries to interrupt, calmly let them know that they may speak to you when you are done with your current conversation. Another useful tip, is to ignore your child for extended periods of time for no apparent reason. This may seem confusing to them at first, but eventually children realize that just because they want attention does not mean they are going to get it.
7. Help your child to face their fears early
Many people have irrational fears, some are extremely difficult to overcome. Many of these fears can be cured very early in life if the problem is addressed early. A very common fear that children have is Nyctophobia (fear of the dark). One way to help cure this common phobia is to close your child in a dark room or kitchen cabinet for short periods of time. Over time they will become desensitized to the darkness, and may even come to embrace it. Coulrophobia (fear of clowns), is another common phobia shared by many children and adults alike. A good way to help the child overcome this fear would be to introduce a some sort of clown doll or even a clown mask into the family. Keep the clown doll in the child’s room until eventually they become comfortable around it. A family member who occasionally walks around the house with a clown mask on would also be extremely beneficial.
Raising a child is extremely hard work. By following these tips, you will be well on your way to raising a child with severe psychological disorders. Happy parenting!
