Adam Lark
Matthew Vaughn has had quite the niche with Kick Ass and Kingsman: The Secret Service, has he not? Both Kick Ass and Kingsman: The Secret Service were such dumb films dedicated to free themselves into our attention spans as treatures. They are constantly on a list or two for me personally as the go-to “turn off the brain, bring on the action!” with all of the references, in-jokes, and action that pertains to the very source material they loved to parody with finesse. Now we have Matthew Vaughn going through with a sequel to a film that I deemed “the best spy film of the 21st Century” for many unconventional reasons that I continue to enjoy. So, let’s get down to the sequel. Does it live up to the hype? Or was there any hype to really think about after the divisive first outing? This is my review of Kingsman: The Golden Circle.
The sequel continues one year after the first film, with our hero Eggsy (played by Taron Egarton) and Merlin (played by the nearly always entertaining Mark Strong) finding themselves within the rubble of The Kingsman organization. After an incredible introduction that would make any fan of spy film, action film or comic book film smile, bright-eyed and wringing their hands with anticipation for what the film has in store, we are left with the same charm and as many fast-framed action sequences as the first. However, this time around, we are well aware of that danger is in store with a new menace, Poppy Adams, played by Julianne Moore. A very by-the-numbers villain that leaves a nothing true to the imagination. Yes, deconstruct the system. Why? Loud and clear… ish. How large of a scale is the system this time? Big. Who are the victims this time? Uh, sure! Let’s go with that. There are enough of the victims in this scenario for Poppy to really demean what The Kingsman are fighting for in order to retain the world as we know it. What is the plan? Recreational drug users are at the whim of this villain. Poppy wholeheartedly agrees that there is a chink in the armor regarding the War on Drugs and plans to destroy it, once and for all. Poppy is hellbent on making sure the world is fair enough to drug users for profit and it is up to the Kingsman, or rather the two members left of The Kingsman, to stop it. That did rhyme. I did that unintentionally. Moving on.
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In order for Eggsy and Merlin to connect and employ the most available resources for the mission, they must team up with their American “Cousins,” The Statesmen. Such a cool template. This leaves so many opportunities to see what attitudes are like between both organizations. Enter Channing Tatum as Tequila. This entrance of the two remaining Kingsman to fight for their right to live after their first encounter at the distillery in which the product of the Statesmen is Whiskey. Now, let me stop myself right there. This does pose a question about current social issues, which is worse? Illegal drugs or legal drugs like alcohol, sugar or tobacco. Trust me, this theme is recited all too often, almost ad nauseum. The dialogue about the two sides are ridden with questions about morality and it becomes so strained way before it had to be. Although subtle at first, it goes full-blown “let’s make a statement about it!” and abridges a fun spy, comedic action film into somewhat of a sidelined questionnaire that the audience quietly seemingly must participate in: What is “safe?” What is “Safety?” What is allowed to be “recreational?” Good luck with those hard-hitting questions in a movie like this, because I am about to really save you a lot of energy.
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I was not too irritated about the messages, those is fine for me personally. However, I do not recall ever suspending so much disbelief for a sequel based in a universe that had “checking your brain in at the door” as its secret code in order to take a seat for the experience to take those messages to heart. This movie goes so far out of its way to be stupid. I accepted so much of the original as a satire of so many spy films in the past as very entertaining! Very violent! Very high octane! Here? Yes, it is here. Those elements are here. Yet you must now be the masochist, not the innocent movie-goer sadist. You must sit through so many cartoonish elements with the physics of nearly all scenes (like the first), so many “man, I wish I could do that if I had 1000 years of training yet they do it in a day or two” (like the first), and THEN… the shit that breaks the space-time continuum. Stay tuned after wrapping your head, if you must. I loved the first film and it shocked me that this film is capable at brandishing such pride to be stupid. Just like infomercial one-ups-manship, you totally get the pounding on the head with the stupidity in the form of, “BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!”
If you read anything from my previous review of Kingsman: The Secret Service…
( http://snoocher.com/adam-lark-review-kingsman-secret-service/), You’d know how much I really enjoyed the nature of fun it had. It was violent, cruel, funny, brilliant with such a simple story for all its worth, the acting was fitting, the humor was on point. Those facts I will stand by in my previous review. When it comes down to it, the sequel actually basks in the wrong method of showing all the beautiful parts of the first. The sequel is drowned with so much idiocy, it is almost unforgivable. Not just jumbling plot devices for convenience, but it betrays the laws of physics. Semi-spoiler: drugs that are taken afflict the user with the “#blueRash” as a stage one symptom, meaning the users of illicit drugs are to die within… who the fuck knows?! They have some characters die within a couple of hours, other extras within weeks after use, and a character after stage one being saved after being in cryofreeze for the remainder of the film after this development (#underutilizationofcharacters) and a major character seemingly jumping from stage one to stage 3 in hours?! Distracting as fuck, I cannot forgive it. There is stupidity out of forgetting to cross your t’s and dotting your I’s, but then there is just making the audience feel like fools for buying into it for plot convenience. I found this hugely distracting and even a film where a parachute from a ski-lift accident saves a cabin last millisecond, I ain’t buying this shit for much longer. Suspension of disbelief must have its rewards, not punishments! We can only follow down the rabbit hole so far until it goes into the slums of a B-movie’s requirements for absent-mindedness.
You know that old thinking of having a neighbor, the guy that helps out the community, saying constantly that “he is such a stand out! He is so helpful, a great father,” yet he once got blind drunk and drove through a closed Blockbuster Video store in 1999, he will ALWAYS be known as the blind drunk who drove recklessly through that store and will never be forgiven no matter how many good deeds he has given out. That moniker will never leave his resume as a human to those who know him. This film may forever be regarded as a charming, cool action flick yet at its true core to those who see it may forever know it for its irrational stupidity.
Unescapable, at best, being a dumb film first, a film that doesn’t quite understand its audience’s threshold of its numbingly clumsy choices second and a cool movie third. I know, I know. This is a film made meant to be dumb as rocks and just as sturdy with its proclivities to being an action flick with the spy and comic book elements under its wheelhouse. But man, this film asks you to suspend so many rational moments of thinking that you will be angered enjoying this film to its fullest potential, as it is still cool and charming like the first overall. The action is still cool, the special effects are good as well, the film has some moments of filler it could do without but doesn’t detract too much. But two unforgiveable flaws remain: the stupidity you must fight through to find it fun and the lack of care for the sequential nature of the physics of the villain’s means to kill off a large portion of the world’s populace.
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All the negatives being said, I still found joy where it is in Kingsman: The Golden Circle. Sure, out of the negatives there are still archetypal tropes for criminality seen in Poppy’s actions, the villain herself is very detached (and seems like a hobby more than a mission, which can be contextually funny), a few token twists that actually are not hard to see at all yet you go with them, I liked the scope of the film, not the execution. This had a good head on its shoulders, and without going into spoilers, there is a lot of things for me to be mad at. Why carry on the stupidity from the first, multiplying its volume by three? We loved it sparingly, but not as a driving force to sit through. It somehow came off as self-righteous in that way. We loved the nonsensical violence, but why deprive us of the experience of the fun when it just serves a greater narrative that really is so fucking ancillary that it becomes irritating at times. Overall, this is a fun ride with so many prerequisites that may drive you into insanity to justify its nature of parody and even the nature of the universe in which The Kingsman live. I left frustrated out of this one, simple question: Did they try to further the story knowing how stupid it all is or did they try to humble the first story with the most stupidity possible to take it down a peg to not be taken seriously as an action blockbuster? I may never know. And that sucks. The first one was kick ass on all cylinders. This was held back by creeping into a B-movie’s territory rather than a fascinating satire/awesome comic book film to honor spy films. Needless to say, aside from the action and style of certain scenes, Kingsman: The Golden Circle leaves too much to be desired as a complete sequel after such a great first outing that was so self-aware. Perhaps after another viewing, I may get some secret groove that speaks to us from the other side that means to make fun of itself entirely. That seems to be too meta and too smart for its own good at this point and I feel left out on the joke, if one exists, that joke of itself works somewhere.
Lark Score: 6.5/10
*SPOILED HONORS*
- Colin Firth played a version of Harry Hart that had been affected by retroactive amnesia that was well acted and the growth of the character that grew beyond it was rewarding and was one of the only plot threads that was kind of fascinating.
- Sir Elton John. My god. A great and welcomed cameo/character. However, his parts are definitely filed under the “suspension of disbelief” section. As tough as the other moments of suspending disbelief were, you forgive a certain action sequence out of the sheer hilarity and Elton John really played ball and had fun. The only time I forgave the stupidity for fan service completely.
